The Getaway Car
A short story based on real events in the 1980's when a car is stolen from a works car park for use in crime.
Henry was as proud as punch as he took possession of his new car, a beautiful 1600cc maroon Ford Escort at the main dealer's showroom in Warrington, a far more powerful car than any previous model he had owned. With it's double overhead thingies and Stromberg whatsit he was sure it would suit his exuberant boy racer tendencies and would look so good sitting on his driveway at home. It was the early nineteen eighties and everything looked good in the garden with prosperous times ahead and lots of exciting experiences to look forward to, little did he suspect however as he drove away from the bright lights of the showroom that his perfect poor man's Bentley would turn out to be a massive disappointment. Within a week he began to realise the car's performance was not what was to be expected from this type of car, it accelerated like a cart horse and drank fuel like a thirty ton articulated lorry, bicycles were accelerating away from traffic lights faster than he was. Although not one of Henry's better decisions, in his defence it has to be said this car was bought in haste in a moment of panic when the previous family car was written off by another family member.
At the time Henry was working in an office on the fourth floor of the Liver Building at the Pier Head in Liverpool and was commuting by train to 
Lime Street and enjoying the walk across town each morning and evening, it kept him quite fit. Occasionally though he would need the car for site visits and expecting to use the car during one particular Thursday he drove into the city via Everton Valley and having the relevant permit parked in the firm's secure car park in Chadwick Street close to the dock road. On returning later to pick up the car he found the site not as secure as he thought, although the ten feet high steel paling fencing looked rather impressive and would put off all but the most determined thief, people were the Achilles heel of this fort Knox. Other employees entering or leaving the car park would never challenge anyone following or tailgating them through the gates when they opened them and would occasionally leave the gates open. Yes the car had disappeared in broad daylight and as he later discovered, it had another disappointing feature, you could open it and drive it away with almost any barrel type key or just a blunt screwdriver. Had he made a mistake and come to work by train that morning? He was beginning to doubt himself and did a few more laps of the car park to check and make sure he wasn't dreaming, but after recovering from the initial shock he began to see the funny side of the situation. It would be rather inconvenient without transport but he had developed a deep loathing for the car and it was with rather confused mixed feelings that he eventually reported its theft to the police with a smile on his face.
Henry didn't hear anything from the police for weeks, the trail had obviously gone cold and he began to harbour thoughts of receiving a cheque from the insurance company to enable him to look for a replacement. 
Unfortunately this was not to be, to his dismay after three weeks he received a call informing him of the "good" news, the car had been found. With no number plates but otherwise undamaged, roadworthy and drivable, it was in police custody in Poole Dorset. It must have taken the thieves a week to drive this slowest of cars all the way to Dorset but by far the most amusing part of the story was that it had been fitted with false number plates and used as a get-away car in several armed robberies on post offices in the area. Henry's immediate reaction was to collapse in a fit of laughter as he imagined the thieves being chased down and apprehended by a constable with a tall helmet riding a police bike, there certainly wouldn't have been the need for a high speed chase through narrow streets and the use of a "stinger" to stop the vehicle. The thieves weren't that clever after all, obviously they hadn't researched the relative getaway qualities of the cars in the car park that day, they didn't know the difference between a Morris and a Maserati, in choosing Henry's car to steal they had doomed their little plan to failure and delivered themselves inadvertently into the hands of the criminal justice system.
Both insurer and breakdown assistance provider declined to repatriate the car referring Henry to their terms and conditions in respect of the car's drivability, so having obtained new number plates from Halfords he set out the following Saturday morning from Lime Street, along with what seemed to be half the British army returning to barracks, on the cross country train service to Poole via Reading to bring the car back. The desk sergeant at Poole police station kindly supplied a couple of polythene "evidence" bags for the number plates which he fixed to the car by trapping the bags in the boot lid and bonnet for the long drive home, the car with all its wiring intact and apparently no worse for its recent adventures. He didn't keep it long though afterwards, he traded it in for a "hot hatch" Austin Allegro with a square wheel.
Palfreyman, April 2016
Farthingale Publications: ..... 
Is a hobby web site containing articles of local interest to Lancastrians, some favourite walking and cycling routes, selected words and poetry, and some writings of more general nature as well as the authors own picture gallery. Access is available via the homepage and menu at the head of the page or via one of the direct links below.
Local Interest: A Cricket Calypso; A Lancashire Lullaby; Dust Upon God's Fair Earth; God's Choir; Isaac Watts 1674 - 1748; It's a Funny Life; John Byrom 1692 - 1793; John Lancaster Wigan MP; Jubilee Park Memorial, Ashton in Makerfield; Little Ships at War 1918; Mind Your Language; Not Much of a Warrior; Peveril of the Peak; Private Thomas Whitham VC; Richmond Hill Dairies; Scot Lane School Wigan; The Brocklebank Line; The Holy City Liverpool; The Lindsays of Haigh; The Nurburgring 1960; Thomas Aspinwall Miners Agent; Thomas Aspinwall Obituary; Thomas Linacre School Wigan; Upholland Telephone Exchange; Wigan Advertisements 1960; Wigan Old Bank 1792; Wigan Soldier Missing in Action.
Walking & Cycling: Abbey Lakes to Coppull Moor; A Lancashire Linear Walk; Blackrod or Bust; Chorley Ice Cream Walk; Cycle the Monsal Trail; Cycle the Sankey Valley; Douglas Valley Dawdle; Freshfield to Crosby; Haigh to Borsdane Wood; Irwell Valley Trail (Bury to Rawtenstall); Irwell Valley Trail (Bury to Salford); Moss Eccles Tarn; Three Counties Cycle Ride; Wigan Circular by Bike.
Words & Poetry: A Lancashire Mon; A Legend of Montrose; Aw've Turned me bit O' Garden O'er; Boat Song; Calm is the Sea; Classic Poetry; Dombey and Son; Dover Harbour; Dust upon God's Fair Earth; God Bless these Poor Wimmen that's Childer; Hymn Before Action; Jeff Unsworth's dialect poetry; King Cotton; Martin Chuzzlewit; Martyrs of the Arena; Mind Your Language; Only a Cranky Owd Foo'; On Th' Hills; Poet's Corner; Redgauntlet; Rogue Herries; The Antiquary; The Bride of Lammermoor; Th' Coartin' Neet; The Darkling Thrush; The Fair Rosamond; The Fair Rosamond Comic; The Family Man; The Glory of the Garden; The Heart of Midlothian; The Pickwick Papers; The Rolling English Road; The Wreck of the Hesperus; Toddlin' Whoam; When Winds Breathe Soft; Wisdom.
Wallgate Chronicles: 
Adolphe Adam; A Tale of Two Cities; A Walk in the Hills; Barnaby Rudge; Bookcase; Cat Bells; Desert Island Discs; Eay Times Uv Changed; Fidelio; Frank Whittle and the Jet Engine; Fun with Trigonometry; Hard Times; Hugo Boss comes to Wigan; In the footsteps of the Manchester Rambler; Ivanhoe; Little Dorrit; Lohengrin; Rob Roy; Romance on a Budget; Semele; Surprise at the Philharmonic; The Battle of Solferino; The Bohemian Girl; The Fair Maid of Perth; The Force of Destiny; The Getaway Car; The Marriage of Figaro; The Old Curiosity Shop; The Ravioli Room; The Spectroscope; The Switchroom Wigan; Travels in Time 1960; Travels in Time 2010.
Selected articles from the above listed:
Richmond Hill Dairies - Pemberton - These pages contain some personal memories from my youth and my association with Richmond Hill Dairies, a local business I grew up with and remember with some affection. A well known and important feature of the local community in its day and part of the heritage of Pemberton, this is my attempt to commit some small snapshot of its history to print, I hope these pages paint a worthy picture.
Mind Your Language - A humorous poem by "the bard of Haydock" George Anderton, inspired by memories of a trip to Bad Canstatt, Stuttgart Germany with the Haydock Male Voice Choir in 1975. This publication will bring a smile to the faces of not only those members who were there at the time and know the people involved but the wider population of Haydock as well who speak the language.
Wigan and the American Civil War - Wigan Coal and Iron Company, The Right Honourable John Lancaster MP for Wigan, the Confederate Raider Alabama, USS Kearsarge, Cherbourg and the yacht Deerhound all feature in the last great sea battle of the American Civil War.
Wigan Old Bank 1792 - A tragic boating accident on Windermere and a surprising journey through the social history of Wigan during the reign of Queen Victoria, highlighting the relationships between four families who played an important part in the commercial development of the town.
The Brocklebank Line - Daniel Brocklebank (1741-1801), shipbuilder and mariner, a brief biography, and some background detail of his family and the shipping line he founded.
Little Ships at Zeebrugge - An account of a heroic attempt to block the port of Zeebrugge during the first World War, to protect supply routes into the UK by denying enemy submarines based there access to the open sea.
A Cricket Calypso - A short biopic of cricketer Cyril Washbrook and a snapshot of his career including his role in the West Indies tour of 1950 recorded in the lyrics of the Cricket Calypso.
Not Much of a Warrior - Wigan RLFC in the fifties and sixties, through rose coloured glasses. A golden age of legendary players and memorable moments, along with some personal memories.
Lyme Hall, Disley, Cheshire