Eay Times Uv Changed

The lamentations of a cash strapped father struggling to cope with the expectations of a new generation


Eay Times Uv Changed!
        picIt's nice to see the kids growing up and making their way in life, they seem to expect so much more than we did, they know what they want and go for it with the confidence that would have seemed incredible two decades ago. The modern outlook and work ethic however doesn't always sit too comfortably with older generations who feel a little envious perhaps. It's sometimes hard to maintain your composure when they fail to grasp the basic principles of bookkeeping and recognise that lifestyle parameters are determined by income. They prefer to set the lifestyle and worry about the money later, they talk on their mobile phones at every opportunity (how did we manage without them) and send the bill to the old man.
        "I needed some new text books dad" the most common excuse when my blood pressure's gone through the roof after receiving another massive credit card bill. Will they ever learn to live within your means? I know I have a reputation for meanness but coping with modern consumerism in ones offspring can be a little wearing. When will daughters learn how to make soup from a piece of string like my parent's generation could? When will they begin to curb the passion for cyberspace, Ocean Colour Scene CDs, Nike trainers, precious metal body piercing, maroon hairstyles and expensive tattoos? The thought of a wedding gives me nightmares, once the choice was Church of England or Methodist, now it's Acapulco or Vegas! At what age does fantasy become reality? Where will it all end? In the words of Lancashire philosophy when do the 'gormless' become 'gumshus'?
        picThe daughter of darkness (sorry the apple of my eye) has been in London for the last three years taking part in the government's "one nation campaign", taking the message and the language south of Watford and in general giving them a bit of a culture shock. I'm learning to live with the fact that I will be penniless for the foreseeable future and have taken to the bottle (only after seven though). I've also discovered a collection of dialect poems which are full of old fashioned wisdom relating to thrift and making ends meet during the cotton famine. They have become a source of great consolation in my darkest hours when my cash flow is languishing south of the comfort zone.
        picThey translate well to the conditions in the so-called "poor students" seedy bedsit accommodation of Camden and Whitechapel, where the only cause of hunger is when there's an argument about whose turn it is to go to Sainsbury's to stock up the fridge. Whenever she is having a particularly bad outbreak of spending fever I email another verse by Henry Yates, Thomas Brierley, Samuel Bamford or Edwin Waugh. She still spends a lot but it curbs the wilder excesses. Her friends are convinced we communicate in code or are Bosnian refugees others sympathise and treat us as harmless but eccentric.

Palfreyman - August 2000


Here are some pearls of wisdom from Henry Yates 1841 - 1906


Aw once yerd mi mam give her answer reet weel,
When they axed if her brass filled th'owd stockin' to th'heel;
Hoo turned reawnd quite sharply an' snapt eawt "Theaw foo";
"It's nod wod aw'm earnin', but wod aw mek do!"

Ther's some larnin' for t'wise when they ponder sich words,
For they touch lowly peasants as weel as big lords;
Depend on't as greed connod breyk so weel throo,
Wheer little's but needed an' less is med do.

It's a curb-cheon for t'greedy, a check-rein for self;
It's a auditor perfect for cupboard an' shelf;
It's a gowden-framed maxim for vanity's schoo'
"Why covet gay peacocks when chickens 'll do?"

One con dine o' good fish, ay, an' hev id weel fried,
Wheer t'breadcrumbs are saved, an' kept cleyn, an' weel dried;
Theaw may sit on a ceawch, or a cheor, or a stoo',
But theaw nobbut pays t'bill just for wod theaw meks do.

Id ud save lots o' frettin' an' mony a wild race;
Id ud keep away t'wrinkles fro' mony a nice face,
If t'truth wor but heeded, an' acted on, too -
"Fooak live among plenty 'at mek little do!"

Owd Rauf o' Big Judd's, he's bin hearin' me talk -
(Rauf's gone to t'far end of his tick book an' chalk),
"Ay, ay!", said th'owd toper, "I' mi own case its true -
When aw corn'd raise a quart aw've to mek a pint do!"

picFarthingale Publications:... Is a hobby web site containing articles of local interest to Lancastrians, some favourite walking and cycling routes, selected words and poetry, and some writings of more general and whimsical nature as well as the authors own picture gallery. Access is available via the homepage and menu at the head of the page.
Local Interest: Richmond Hill Dairies; Mind Your Language; John Lancaster Wigan MP; Thomas Aspinwall Miners Agent; Thomas Aspinwall Obituary; Upholland Telephone Exchange; Thomas Linacre School Wigan; God's Choir; Scot Lane School Wigan; The Lindsays of Haigh; Dust Upon God's Fair Earth; The Nurburgring 1960; Wigan Advertisements 1960; Wigan Soldier Missing in Action; It's a Funny Life; Private Thomas Whitham VC; Isaac Watts 1674 - 1748; Wigan Old Bank 1792; The Brocklebank Line; John Byrom 1692 - 1793; The Holy City Liverpool; Jubilee Park Memorial, Ashton in Makerfield; Little Ships at War 1918; A Cricket Calypso; Not Much of a Warrior; Peveril of the Peak.
Walking & Cycling: Moss Eccles Tarn; Abbey Lakes to Coppull Moor; Chorley Ice Cream Walk; Douglas Valley Dawdle; Three Counties Cycle Ride; Haigh to Borsdane Wood; A Lancshire Linear Walk; Blackrod or Bust; Cycle the Sankey Valley; Cycle the Monsal Trail; Wigan Circular by Bike; Freshfield to Crosby; Irwell Valley Trail (Bury to Rawtenstall); Irwell Valley (Bury to Salford).
Words & Poetry: Wisdom; Only a Cranky Owd Foo'; Martin Chuzzlewit; Dover Harbour; Rogue Herries; The Heart of Midlothian; King Cotton; The Family Man; The Pickwick Papers; The Fair Rosamond; The Fair Rosamond Comic; A Legend of Montrose; When Winds Breathe Soft; The Wreck of the Hesperus; God Bless these Poor Wimmen that's Childer; Dombey and Son; Aw've Turned me bit O' Garden O'er; On Th' Hills; Four Favourite Poems; The Darkling Thrush; The Glory of the Garden; The Rolling English Road; The Antiquary; Hymn Before Action; Dust upon God's Fair Earth; Mind Your Language; Jeff Unsworth's dialect poetry; Martyrs of the Arena; Th' Coartin' Neet; Boat Song; Toddlin' Whoam; A Lancashire Mon; Calm is the Sea; The Bride of Lammermoor; Redgauntlet; A Tale of Two Cities.
Wallgate Chronicles: Little Dorrit; Hugo Boss comes to Wigan; In the footsteps of the Manchester Rambler; Fun with Trigonometry; Surprise at the Philharmonic; The Marriage of Figaro; Cat Bells; A Walk in the Hills; Eay Times Uv Changed; Fidelio; The Ravioli Room; Desert Island Discs; Travels in Time 1960; Travels in Time 2010; The Spectroscope; The Bohemian Girl; Bookcase; Barnaby Rudge; Romance on a Budget; The Battle of Solferino; The Getaway Car; The Switchroom Wigan; The Force of Destiny; Adolphe Adam; The Fair Maid of Perth; Ivanhoe; Semele; Lohengrin; The Old Curiosity Shop; Hard Times.