A Monologue by Marriott Edgar

The Fair Rosamond

You've heard of King Henry II, And the story of how he got fond,
Of one of his customer's daughters, A lass called the "Fair Rosamond."
'Twere a lovely romance while it lasted, The course of true love ran serene,
Till some nosey-parkering varlet, Started carrying tales to the Queen.


The Queen were at first incred-u-lous. She said "What a tale to invent!",
The King would not stoop to such baseness, At any rate, not during Lent."
But one morning she picked up a doublet, As he'd dropped on his bedroom settee;
It had three golden hairs on the shoulder, And a strong smell of 'Soir de Paree."


She went to the King in a passion, And showed him this evidence clear,
And swore by her distaff and wimple, That she weren't having none of that theer.
She said " If I catch that young woman, She'll leave no more hairs on your coat-,
Her trying to pinch other folks' monarchs-, I'll give her a swim in the moat.


So he took Rosie off to the country, To an old-fashioned manor of his,
With an "'ampton Court Maze "in the garden, As he kept for occasions like this.
But the Queen wasn't fooled for a moment, She knew all about Henry's ways;
She slipped off herself the next morning, And secretly watched that there maze.


She were hiding in t 'macaracapa, When Rosie came out for the milk,
And she fixed to her dress as she passed her, The end of a bobbin of silk.
Poor Rosie went back not suspecting, The trail she were leaving behind,
And the Queen slowly followed her gloating, At what she expected to find.


The King he were toasting a muffin, And Rosie were wetting the tea,
When in walked the Queen her face shining, With a look of malevolent glee.
She'd a basin of poison in one hand, In the other, a glittering knife,
The King kind of goggled a moment, Then turned and said " Rose... meet the wife!"


The Queen shoved the basin at Rosie, And held the knife out by its point,
It were plain she had no' but two choices, The soup or a cut off the joint.
The Fair Rosamond begged for mercy. She said, "What you've heard is not true,
Our friendship were purely platonic." A yarn which in them days was new.


The King told the same tale as Rosie, And if that's not the truth, Queen," he cried,
May I die on this spot where I'm standing! As he said it he skipped to one side.
The Queen at the finish believed them, But to save further messing around,
She packed Rosie off to a Convent, And had the maze burnt to the ground.

Further Reading

Richmond Hill Dairies - Pemberton - These pages contain some personal memories from my youth and my association with Richmond Hill Dairies, a local business I grew up with and remember with some affection. A well known and important feature of the local community in its day and part of the heritage of Pemberton, this is my attempt to commit some small snapshot of its history to print, I hope these pages paint a worthy picture.
Mind Your Language - A humorous poem by "the bard of Haydock" George Anderton, inspired by memories of a trip to Bad Canstatt, Stuttgart Germany with the Haydock Male Voice Choir in 1975. This publication will bring a smile to the faces of not only those members who were there at the time and know the people involved but the wider population of Haydock as well who speak the language.
Wigan and the American Civil War - Wigan Coal and Iron Company, The Right Honourable John Lancaster MP for Wigan, the Confederate Raider Alabama, USS Kearsarge, Cherbourg and the yacht Deerhound all feature in the last great sea battle of the American Civil War.
Wigan Old Bank 1792 - A tragic boating accident on Windermere and a surprising journey through the social history of Wigan during the reign of Queen Victoria, highlighting the relationships between four families who played an important part in the commercial development of the town.
The Brocklebank Line - Daniel Brocklebank (1741-1801), shipbuilder and mariner, a brief biography, and some background detail of his family and the shipping line he founded.
Little Ships at Zeebrugge - An account of a heroic attempt to block the port of Zeebrugge during the first World War, to protect supply routes into the UK by denying enemy submarines based there access to the open sea.
A Cricket Calypso - A short biopic of cricketer Cyril Washbrook and a snapshot of his career including his role in the West Indies tour of 1950 recorded in the lyrics of the Cricket Calypso.
Not Much of a Warrior - Wigan RLFC in the fifties and sixties, through rose coloured glasses. A golden age of legendary players and memorable moments, along with some personal memories.
Wigan Advertisements - 1960
Vulcan Foundry; Trustee Savings Bank; Battye & Sons;   Walker Brothers;  Bradley's Schoolwear;  Pendlebury's/Wiend Press;    James Lowe;  JJB Sports;  Bridge and Sons;  Worsley Mesnes Ironworks;  Sutcliffe Speakman - Leigh.
Upholland Telephone Exchange c1963
A new era in the history of Upholland as the village transistions from a manual telephone exchange in Parliament Street to a modern (for the sixties) Strowger automatic system, with subscriber trunk dialling in Church Street.

Farthingale Publications:... Is a hobby web site containing articles of local interest to Lancastrians, some favourite walking and cycling routes, selected words and poetry, and some writings of more general nature as well as the authors own picture gallery. Access is available via the homepage and menu at the head of the page.

Local Interest: A Cricket Calypso; A Lancashire Lullaby; Dust Upon God's Fair Earth; God's Choir; Isaac Watts 1674 - 1748; It's a Funny Life; John Byrom 1692 - 1793; John Lancaster Wigan MP; Jubilee Park Memorial, Ashton in Makerfield; Little Ships at War 1918; Mind Your Language; Not Much of a Warrior; Peveril of the Peak; Private Thomas Whitham VC; Richmond Hill Dairies; Scot Lane School Wigan; The Brocklebank Line; The Farewell; The Holy City Liverpool; The Lindsays of Haigh; The Nurburgring 1960; Thomas Aspinwall Miners Agent; Thomas Aspinwall Obituary; Thomas Linacre School Wigan; Upholland Telephone Exchange; Wigan Advertisements 1960; Wigan Old Bank 1792; Wigan Soldier Missing in Action.
Walking & Cycling: Abbey Lakes to Coppull Moor; A Lancashire Linear Walk; Blackrod or Bust; Chorley Ice Cream Walk; Cycle the Monsal Trail; Cycle the Sankey Valley; Douglas Valley Dawdle; Freshfield to Crosby; Haigh to Borsdane Wood; Irwell Valley Trail (Bury to Rawtenstall); Irwell Valley Trail (Bury to Salford); Moss Eccles Tarn; Three Counties Cycle Ride; Wigan Circular by Bike.
Words & Poetry: A Lancashire Mon; A Legend of Montrose; A Wet Sheet and a Flowing Sea; Aw've Turned me bit O' Garden O'er; Boat Song; Calm is the Sea; David Copperfield; Dombey and Son; Dover Harbour; Dust upon God's Fair Earth; God Bless these Poor Wimmen that's Childer; High Flight; Hymn Before Action; Jeff Unsworth's dialect poetry; King Cotton; Martin Chuzzlewit; Martyrs of the Arena; Mind Your Language; Only a Cranky Owd Foo'; On Th' Hills; Redgauntlet; Rogue Herries; The Antiquary; The Armada; The Bride of Lammermoor; Th' Coartin' Neet; The Cottage; The Darkling Thrush; The Donkey; The Fair Rosamond; The Fair Rosamond Comic; The Family Man; The Glory of the Garden; The Heart of Midlothian; The Pickwick Papers; The Rolling English Road; The Wanderer; The Wreck of the Hesperus; Toddlin' Whoam; Tommy; When Winds Breathe Soft; Wisdom.
Wallgate Chronicles: Adolphe Adam; A Tale of Two Cities; A Walk in the Hills; Barnaby Rudge; Bookcase; Cat Bells; Desert Island Discs; Eay Times Uv Changed; Fidelio; Frank Whittle and the Jet Engine; Fun with Trigonometry; Hard Times; Hugo Boss comes to Wigan; In the footsteps of the Manchester Rambler; Ivanhoe; Little Dorrit; Lohengrin; Nicholas Nickleby; Our Mutual Friend; Rob Roy; Romance on a Budget; Semele; Surprise at the Philharmonic; The Battle of Solferino; The Bohemian Girl; The Fair Maid of Perth; The Force of Destiny; The Getaway Car; The Marriage of Figaro; The Old Curiosity Shop; The Ravioli Room; The Spectroscope; The Switchroom Wigan; Travels in Time 1960; Travels in Time 2010.

Lyme Hall, Disley, Cheshire